Ok, this isn't going to work. : D But at least we know what this is going to be about! Rebbie. (Everyone gasps and awaits the ugly Lionel's memoirs)
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That morning I woke up completely smashed.
I had no idea what I had drunk, why did I drink but I know one thing - now I am in the middle of the forest, without my metal limbs. I think I can hear somebody calling my name. Sounds like old man Ralph, I hope he falls down a beartrap before finding me. I can imagine his snarky face when he finds me half dead, half sober and that makes me even more sick than before.
A pair of legs appears next to me, brown striped pants, white classy shoes. Oh, that is Raven. He asks me something, I open my mouth to answer but all I can do is let out a beautiful, thoughtful 'fuck'. At least it convinced him about my situation. The butler bent down and started putting back my leg, hell knows where he found it, but you can't question a cursed monster butler. At least I got my leg back. I try to sit up but it's not exactly easy without arms. Those I can't get. I try listening to Raven but apparently, as far as my dazed half brain could catch, my arms are lying somewhere, broken beyond recognition. Why? Hell knows.
Took him some while, but I got carried home. Then I had to listen to old man's annoying voice, I didn't want to pay attention, but apparently he knew, what happened yesterday.
We had a little party and by little I mean that Ralph carried out from the basement two bottles of wine and forced it down our throats. Of course he, being the genius that he is, started bugging Raven about going to 'that basement'. Raven did what every reasonable, drunk man would do - he took us by HAND through that blasted crow forest into the castle.
Suddenly I remember this - There were caged monsters which seemed pretty adorable at the given moment and I did what anyone would do in my place - I stuck my arms out in the cage and waved until the monster noticed me. Needless to say that's how I lost my arms. Imagine the sounds of metal grinding against some terrible beast's teeth. Pretty awful, but at least it pissed off Ralph, totally worth it.
The ear splitting screech (no, not Ralph's screech, metal grinding against teeth screech, though old man let out some nasty sounds too...) attracted a Dragonhead. That explains the huge stitch across my stomach. According to Raven the Dragonhead sliced through me and old man like bread and stopped at him. I must question Raven's butler abilities yet again - he's got two split up corpses and he is half dead himself, but he carried us back and stitched us together. If my head didn't hurt so much I'd waste a little energy to think so I could be even more afraid of him. Ahem. Anyways.
THAT is how we celebrated. It doesn't get more classy. As I am sitting here and scribbling this in my notebook my sickness becomes more and more noticable, I wish to write a little more since I have not yet covered old man's absolutely atrocious fashion sense in holiday time, but I must rush to the nearest toilet before yesterday's sins are all over my table.
The Amazing Rebellion's memoirs
The day when my red coat was washed together with everyone's white socks.
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Meh I am no good at writing. But some ideas I had in my head a long time could get written so since I can't draw that well I can at least write it out. ovo; Though most of this story was made up on the spot HAH
ATM I am inspired so I could write more of Rebbie's memoirs... He is a character I can relate personality wise (snarky asshole) soo I will have lots of fun writing him saying bad things about others. But I can also write other characters. You can always hit me up with suggestions...
This way I can start a new tag. :D A writing tag.
Okay I'll stop writing crap and submit this before I get embarassed of my crappy writing. :'3
